Friday, September 01, 2017

When It Gets Hot in San Francisco

My neighborhood today reached 103.1 degrees Fahrenheit. My house, despite the fact that it's on the sunny side of the city, is like almost every other building in the city and has no air conditioning, because, come on, it's San Francisco.

But, when it does get hot around here, certainties arise:

When you try to go to sleep at night, moths and other unidentifiables gather around the pool of light that shines upon your book or reader because every window and door that doesn't lead to the street is wide open to let in whatever air that is moving. You fall asleep slapping away insects.

You have to ask your trusted friends for deodorant at work because you've got BO by 9am.

Your pets, as accustomed to the temperate weather as you, flatten into fur covered puddles on the floor.

Grandparents and children sit in camping chairs on sidewalks of very busy streets to read the newspaper and do homework because it's too hot inside their apartments.

You can go a whole day without seeing a hooded sweatshirt.

You, one who never orders fruity drinks at a bar, choose drinks that are based on juice because they sound so damned refreshing, and they are, but then you remember that you don't order them because they go down so fast and whoops, you are a little drunk on heat and fruity beverages.

The chile pods on your pepper plants ripen all at once.

You think that waiting in an hour-long line at one of the famous ice cream shops is a great idea.

In other words, when it gets hot in San Francisco, it's pretty great.